Losers, Freaks and Geeks
by BellaNova
Summary: A crazy twist on this story we all know and love. Edward pines over the one he adores, and is faced with many situations to reach his destination. Will he ever get what he wants? Read and find out...
1. I Adore The Taste Of Rain

**A/N: According to the Fuse Channel (best channel ever!), nerds are better looking than geeks. So for anyone who wants to attack me about this topic…EDWARD IS NOT UGLY! Haha, are you kidding? Do you think I could write about an ugly Edward? You would be out of your mind. Think Clark Kent in **_**Smallville, **_**or whatever version of Superman you want, and just match your idea of Edward into that. You get the jist…**

**::A/U::**

Disclaimer [also counts for future chapters: NEVER EVER MINE!!!

Chapter 1

Staring into the mirror in my room, I licked my index and middle fingers, raising them to my hairline. Gently…steady…there! My hair was somewhat free of frizz. I pushed my black- rimmed glasses up towards my face. I looked good today. Oh yeah. Forks, Washington, eat your heart out!

I like school. I find it interesting to learn about new things. It's the people that I don't like. Spotting my book bag on my bed, I reached over to grab it and left my room, shutting the door behind me. _Just another day, _I thought to myself.

I was never the kid with 'friends'. I was never popular. I wore the weirdest clothing and suspenders (although somewhat fashionable) stood in place for belts. I wasn't a geeky looking kid. I wasn't really a kid at all. I'm about ninety years older than the average high school student, and let me tell you that re-learning the same things every year gets boring. And even though I'm forced to be in high school to maintain a persona, it would still be great to just move on.

Move on.

It was those words that still rung in my ears, haunting me. For so many years, high school life was the only life that I knew. Isn't it weird that, since I've known this whole atmosphere for quite some time, it should be a given that I was popular? Apparently not.

My name is Edward Cullen, and I am a nerd.

Now, you may be thinking: _how has he been in high school for eighty years and has had nobody catch on to this weirdness? _ Something you should know about me is that I am not human. I don't use special lotions or formulas that make me look young for an extended period of time. I am actually a vampire.

Yeah, a vampire.

I'm also not alone with this juicy piece of information. I have two brothers and two sisters who also share this secret with me, although, they aren't really my siblings. It's kind of hard to explain.

Before we were "turned", we were all regular people. We had lives and responsibilities and duties to fulfill. But all that changed for us when we were changed as well. Now we all live with our "parents", Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle was the one who took us all in. He found Esme when her life was almost over, and had saved mine from an epidemic in Chicago. We all owe our lives to him, really. He's the one who put and kept this family together. And although they can be a pain a lot of times, I still love them.

Also, my sisters and brothers are married…to each other. Now, before you get all frantic and think we're some weird, incest cult, we aren't blood related. We were all found just before our human lives had ended. My sister, Rosalie, had saved my brother, Emmett, from a fierce grizzly bear attack and had fallen in love with each other. It was quite touching, really. Then there's my other sister, Alice. She had seen Jasper (my other sibling) in a vision, when he was already turned into a vampire. That's a funny thing about Alice: she has visions. She can see things before they happen, and if it's something bad, she's able to prevent it. We all have our own little techniques like super strength and breathtaking beauty, but Alice, Jasper, and I are the ones with useful powers. Jasper can control people's emotions. I can read minds. At first, it was so amazing to realize that I could dive into other people's thoughts and daydreams. But after a while, it became boring and repetitious. I already figured out the latest news, what secrets were being hidden, and it was just reiterated. I am not able to stop hearing these thoughts at my own will. They just go on and on.

And I can hear what people say about me. Nerdy Edward. The smart guy who never gets below a 100 on a test. That weird kid who always keeps to himself or the freak who somehow finishes your sentences. Ugh, don't tell me that he's actually trying to talk to me!

Gross!

It hurts to hear these things about me. I'm not that much different than anybody else at our school. I have emotions too, although, something about us: we can't eat, or sleep, or breathe. I mean, we don't have the need to. And just like any other vampire that you may have heard about, we can't go out into the sunlight with a consequence that is presented.

Something happens when sunlight brushes our skin. We glitter and glow. It might be beautiful to the ordinary mind, but what human do you know that glitters in the daylight? And if anybody sees us like this, we could blow our cover. I like where we live. It's quiet, obscure and peaceful and nobody bothers us. Okay, maybe it helps having a creepy house dead set in the woods. But I like it. It's peaceful.

I took a glance one more time before I went downstairs to leave. Bronze hair tousled my head, and I had those black-rimmed glasses "emo" kids wear nowadays. I had no zits or pimples on my face; how could I? My suspenders weren't weird looking; they were similar to the movie A Clockwork Orange. I always thought the characters in there dressed all right. I didn't see the problem with it. My pants weren't ankle high, and I didn't wear collared shirts that were buttoned up to my neck. Alice was definitely the fashion stylist of the family; she made sure that I didn't leave the house looking like a complete and total dork. She would pull me aside by the front door and give me a once over before we'd leave, making sure I didn't go to school embarrassing her. Her eyes would run up and down my wardrobe, and a simple "good" was my ticket out the door. I grabbed my stuff and was on my way downstairs.

There was no breakfast aroma to smell. We didn't eat ever. I think that's the part I miss most about being human. I was so oblivious to everyday things that it was easy for me to take them for granted. When I became a vampire, I didn't realize how much I'd miss those treasures.

Eating.

Sleeping.

Breathing.

In the hallway, I passed by Rosalie and Emmett's room. I heard a couple of muffled sounds and a bang against the wall. I didn't even want to know. Since two years ago when I had caught them in the act, I kept my mind off of all that awkwardness. Plus, that was the scariest thing I had ever seen. I think I remembered thinking about Rosalie "How does she bend like that?!" To say the least, I was frightened beyond belief.

Zooming past the raucous, I took a turn to slip by Alice and Jasper's room before Alice noticed me. I didn't want to do these daily "Oh-Edward-you're-not-going-out-looking-like-_that_" rituals. With my heightened sense of hearing, I heard her playing a CD and softly humming to herself.

It was Muse, my favorite band ever. I knew everything about that trio of geniuses, and yet I've never been able to attend one of their concerts. What I wouldn't give to see Matthew Bellamy and company create such powerful and raw edge. And Alice was playing _Absolution._

Sweet.

That was one thing I could definitely say about Alice; her music taste was phenomenal. From bands like Travis and The Spill Canvas, to Angels & Airwaves and even The Killers, Alice knew them all. And her music collection was mind blowing. CD after CD after record after album after EP, she must have owned basically everything alternative. I'm not sure how Jasper must have reacted when he saw his room graphically designed with punk rock art and sketches, but Alice made it happen, and made him accept it.

Two couples in love. I wish I had someone to love. But we'll get to that later.

One thing about Carlisle is that his "gift" is caring for people. He's a doctor at the local hospital here in Forks, and the most renowned doctor these people have seen in a long while. He's got a gift. I love and hated Carlisle, both at the same time. He saved my life, but also took it from me. I wasn't bitter to him, that much is true. But sometimes I lament the fact that he made me into some sort of monster. Earlier on, I felt as if I couldn't forgive him, but those feelings soon went away.

Yet emotions still lingered. And after almost a century, I still hurt.

My hand was on the doorknob. Yes! I thought to myself. One more step and I'm out the door. Free from Alice and her lectures about how my hair isn't perfect.

One more step, and…

"Just where do you think you're going, little brother?" perked a squeaky voice.

Busted.

I turned around to face that elfish figure, with a slight crooked frown on her face. I groaned to myself then smirked.

"Excuse me, but there is no way that you are older than me. Get used to it." I looked down at her, but she was looking down on me. Alice treats me with respect, but she still thinks I'm a little immature, just like a little brother.

"Listen, I don't care how the facts work. Anyway, let's do our daily look-over."

I must have looked uncomfortable, because Alice cocked an eyebrow, suggesting that I was to feel blessed that someone would help me dress myself. Wouldn't you feel frustrated?

Her butterscotch eyes trailed up and down my body, and I thought I looked fine. Alice, however, had other thoughts. This was getting to be a pain.

"Uh, you think you're leaving the house dressed like that?! Just look at you! Whoever told you that black and brown match well was seriously disturbed." And with that comment, she removed the black blazer that I was wearing, with force might I add, and turned to grab a corduroy jacket from the closet to the right of the front door. "Here, put this on."

I had to admit, it looked much better on me than my blazer. But that was _my_ blazer. I saved up money to buy that coat. Emmett and I picked it out when we headed to Seattle for the monthly trips he and I go on together. We always loved traveling, so we would pick areas that weren't sunny (remember the freaky skin thing) but that had lots of places to see. Seattle was always our favorite place to go. It was close by and had great attractions to visit. Plus, Emmett and I would always head to the nearby beach and just sit around. And even though he was married, Emmett would always try to attract as many women as possible. He would also put me in the spotlight, shouting things when girls walked by, but making us look like we were engaged in a casual conversation. Such things shouted have been: "Jeez, Edward, I didn't know it was _that_ big!" or "So, you modeled for _how_ many agencies?" It would always leave me feeling embarrassed and smiling awkwardly, while the girls walking by would either laugh or gawk as if they were interested. When the attention was off of me, I punched Emmett in the shoulder, just so he knew how much he had embarrassed me.

"Come on, buddy, I'm doing you a favor! Don't you ever want to have a relationship? Don't you want one soon?"

Without my normal brothers and sisters drawing attention to me, I was a nobody. No one wanted to deal with me; no one wanted anything to do with me. I could hear it in their minds.

"There you go, Edward. Now you look good. And would you take off those glasses? You look like a freak." Alice's yell was nothing more than a musical squeak. It was cute yet somewhat annoying.

I don't really need the glasses. I just thought they looked cool when I saw them. They made me feel different. I guess that was the problem.

I took them off and stuck them in my pocket, for later purposes. I slowly bent my head backwards, and huffed to myself.

"I heard that!" Alice said. We made eye contact and then she giggled. "Edward, you look fine. Don't worry; I know what I'm doing. And forget what anyone thinks about you when you get to school. Aren't you used to the mocking and ridiculing yet?"

"Thanks, Alice" I grimaced.

"Oh, honey, you know what I mean. Just don't let anybody get you down. They don't matter. So just go about your day and let the others be." She stood tiptoed to rustle my hair some more. A brush couldn't tame the rug attached to the top of my head. Alice always said that of anything about me, my hair was the most dazzling. It could be unbrushed or knotted and it'd still look good. I was grateful for that, because I knew how much time Alice took to make her hair look absolutely perfect. And getting ready for school two hours earlier than usual was nothing I was going to do.

With those words of slight encouragement, I walked out the door. Our house is located on top of a hill, about half a mile from the main road. I jumped off of my front porch stairs, and then strolled to meet my baby girl. No, I don't have a girlfriend or a child; I have a Volvo.

A silver S60 to be exact, and my little bundle of love is my life. She's got a powerful engine, and a _vroom_ to make your motor run, if you catch my drift. I hopped in the front seat and started up the heat. I wasn't cold, but the snow that had fell from last night iced up the windshield, so I couldn't see anything without it being defrosted. As I waited I cranked up the stereo.

Pounding piano almost shattered the speakers, so I had to quickly turn down the volume. This was definitely the work of Jasper Hale. He loved numbing speakers when he drove, and never turned down the volume. Why he doesn't use his own damn car, though, is unknown. He always takes mine out for late night cruises and it ticks me off, because on a weekday morning, I bother the peace of nature by almost destroying my stereo system, and I swear I could hear birds viciously chirping at me for waking them up.

However, I quickly forgave him, as I always do when he leaves Muse for me to shatter my eardrums to. If I were to ever turn gay, it would be for Matthew Bellamy, and Matthew Bellamy only. I can't imagine how anybody ever built up so much passion so quickly, and its genius how he and his band use that drive to make such tremendous music. I'm so deeply in love with Muse.

I watched the icicles from the windshield drip away, and started down the hill slowly. The dripping of the ice reminded me of the melting of my heart. It was true, I did dislike school.

But there was one reason why all that pain flowed away.


	2. Chemistry of a Car Crash

Not mine (of course! )

Chapter 2

I guess you can say I've got a lead foot. Speeding down the highway at 110 miles per hour, my hair whipped and swirled on top of my head, reversing all that work that I did. Well, my hair will look good no matter what, right?

With my increased mind reading, I could tell if cops were around. I can never get caught or hit anybody, because I'll know when they are coming. Pretty sweet, huh?

So, before I get to school, I probably should tell you the only reason that I am even remotely motivated of going to Forks High School. Two words.

Isabella Swan.

For these last four years of high school, the thought of long and lush brown hair inhabited my thoughts. Brown eyes stared back at me every time I closed mine. Occasionally, I would be in my room, lying down, and either Emmett or Jasper would peek in to check up on me—quietly, might I add. And to my surprise, I would unconsciously start licking my lips, and things would start functioning…

Then I would hear a chuckle.

Opening my eyes, I saw my brothers peering down at me.

Emmett and Jasper would burst out laughing, and start licking their lips in mockery.

"Edward, are we thinking about Bella Swan again? Oh, Bella, kiss me and never let me go! I want you mine forever! Kissy kissy!"

"Leave me alone." I turned so my back faced them, and they would both leave the room, jeering on their way out.

"Oh, Edward," Jasper would call on his way out, "I'm sure _somebody_ will find it their heart to love you."

Those words would always sear into me every time I thought of lovely Bella. Would she ever find the time of day to have any feelings for me? Could we ever fall deeply in love with each other?

No. That will never happen. We are from two different worlds. In the blink of an eye, she'll be dead, while I still have to live in immortality. Or worse, it would be her thirtieth birthday, we'd be happily married, but she'll still wonder why I haven't aged a day.

"Bella, honey, there's something I have to tell you…"

That would be just wretched. I could just imagine her face, stricken by horror. Married to a vampire.  
Unbelievable.  
But I can still keep a good distance, right? Fall in love without falling into reality. That always was, is and will be my plan. Isabella and I could never be. It's just impossible.  
I spotted the opening for the school, and pulled right into the parking lot at the first turn. If my heart was beating, it would've become stagnant, inactive. I spotted Isabella's beautiful (pricey, too) red-orange Lexus convertible. This creature looked like hydraulics should've been attatched to it. It was amazing, to sum it up. And compared to my S60R...well, you can figure out the rest.   
The surprise was waiting, though, inside the car. With a pull of the handle, out came the most ravishing beauty the earth has ever known. There were no flaws to Isabella. In my eyes, she was perfect in every way. Glistening brown hair, radiant dark honey eyes, and that figure. Stunning. Absolutely perfect.  
To see her was to view heaven itself, a place I only dared to designate to in my future. My car was moving, slow enough so I could stare, but quickly so I didn't hold anybody up. Isabella tossed her hair behind with a flick of her wrist, and turned to see me basically drooling over her presence. She stared at me, and did something I never thought I'd see in my immortal life.  
A smile. A _smile_? To...me? Impossible! But, who cares? Isabella Swan, queen of my heart, was staring—at me! I took would I only presumed I could get. So I did something Jasper taught me to do whenever a pretty girl smiled at me.  
"Alright, buddy, if this doesn't help you with the ladies, then I was right all along, and you're a hopeless loser. Okay, whenever a hot chick strolls by and gives you the smile...you know, the smile...just jut your chin out a little bit like this," he showed me what to do, "then you're all set. You'll leave the girl stunned and swept off her feet. That is, if you don't screw this up. Okay, try it."

I kept messing it up, jerking my head far back, instead of just lifting my chin up a little bit. It took many tries, but I finally got it. So, as you may have already guessed, I tried doing what Jasper taught me. Only it backfired. Really badly.

My little stint was going as planned, and I thought I was doing so well. What happened next, though, was in such slow motion.

Bella's smile turned into a laugh. Her eyes widened a bit, and she screamed something unintelligible.

"…OUT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

What I should've heard was 'watch out'. Instead, this is what happened: I turned my head to the side, still with a slight smile on my face, but still confused. I mouthed the word 'what'. Out of nowhere, my head smashed against the steering wheel (thank heavens for our physique or I'd have been bleeding all over the place), and my airbag popped out. The hood of my beloved car crinkled up and rammed against the windshield, cracking in into pieces. Smoke bellowed out of the engine, and soon enough, there was a crowd circling me. I had my eyes shut tightly the whole time, but I opened them to see the damage. The car hood had smashed back down to its (somewhat) location. Just exactly who did I hit?

I had just smashed into a silvery blue Thunderbird. And not just anybody's silvery blue Thunderbird, but…

"Cullen! I should've known it was you, you damn loser! Look at my car! You and your daddy are gonna pay for all this damage, you know that? God, what a freak!" Jacob Black, the most popular guy in the entire high school, stood outside of his car, his voice booming at me.  
"What a moron! What were you looking at, your nonexistent bulge? What a tool."

The entire school was staring at the scene now. Jacob moved his unusually large hand through his jet black hair, and was pacing furiously. I decided to get out of the car.

"Jacob, I'm _really_ sorry. Please, forgive me. My father and I will fix whatever damages I made. We'll get your car back to new." I was pleading for my life – if Jacob were to ever start beating me up, one punch to his throat from me could kill him. So I wasn't allowed to risk a fight with him whatsoever.

His nostrils were flared, and that's a sign to anyone that someone is furious. He bounded towards me at a rapid pace.

"You better be sorry, Cullen." I could feel his hot breath against my face. I didn't blink. I was too afraid to do anything at that point. "I want my car fixed. And if you do anything like this ever again, you better believe you'll regret ever crossing my path." His face relaxed and he eyed me up and down, looking terrifying.

Suddenly, through the crowd, an angel appeared. I saw a beautiful bright light (or at least, what my imagination wanted me to believe) surrounding a gorgeous creature.

"Jacob! Oh my God, are you okay?" Isabella ran up to hug Jacob, and they were in a tight embrace. Even in a state of worry, her voice sounded like heavenly chimes ringing in my ears. It was as if the wind was whispering her name ever so gently in my ear. My angel was crying, simple diamonds releasing from her eyes. She moved her face away from his shoulder and they started softly kissing each other. "Oh, thank goodness, you're alright!"

They mumbled incoherent romantic things in their ears. I looked at the damage, and then looked at Isabella. She was glaring at me while hugging Jacob, and I felt her eyes sear into my flesh. My body burned and for the first time in a while, I actually felt like my back was sweating. My vision went blurry. I felt like such a criminal; there were no other words to describe it.

I think I forgot to mention a small fact: Isabella is taken by the handsome Jacob Black. They have been dating for the past 2 years, and for as much as it pains me to say this, they seem more perfect for each other than she and I could be.

As if in slow motion, Isabella displayed a graceful stroll, and it felt like my dreams were coming true. Was she actually going to talk to me? I felt my knees melting. Her pace to come talk to me hinted that she was going to be friendly; her fiery eyes, on the other hand, implied something else.

"How about you watch where you're going?! You could've hurt people. Didn't you ever hear to keep your eyes on the road?" Her voice was raised to a degree of decibels, and the attention from the crowd sprung to us.

"Well, I—see…I," I couldn't create any sensible words. I had the feeling after you dry swallow an enormous pill. Technically, she was right. All I could do was stand there and watch her make a fool of me.

Her eyes softened. Realizing she had been a little harsh, her voice calmed down. I never realized how her eyes really appeared. The brown was present, but she had red surrounding them, like she'd been rubbing her eyes for an hour straight. "Just watch where you're driving, okay?"

My head involuntarily nodded, and Isabella turned away. Soon, the crowd dissipated and I was left standing there, two hours late for homeroom, waiting for the tow trucks to arrive.

At the same moment, too late and too quiet for anyone to hear, I whispered softly, hoping somebody might hear.

"I'm sorry."

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	3. Stop and Stare

Chapter 3 

Not Mine!

"Edward, buddy! How's it going?" 

My best friend for about four years and probably the smartest young man I've ever met, Mike Newton always had a way to cheer me up. I met him in his freshman year of high school, and we just hit it off immediately. We share a love for Muse, but his favorite band is The Used, and he never goes a long time without letting me forget that simple fact. I mean, what I have for Muse is healthy, but his obsession is just ridiculous.

I knew I looked somber, but I tried to feign a smile onto my face. 

"Hey, Mike, what's going on? Did you do the biology homework or are we going to have to copy it the period before?" I tried making simple conversation, and it seemed to be working.

"Absolutely. You know how we always do that, cause we're that sly." He laughed as he said this, like he was Mr. Smooth. Mike was just the opposite of that. He never had a girlfriend, was never out on a date, and only thinks he's the cat's meow. It's sort of entertaining to watch, but you can't help having pity for him.

"Yeah. Right." 

"So, why were you late for homeroom today? Unless I didn't see you today, because sometimes you move so quickly through the halls. It's kind of scary, like you're a ghost or something. It's so eerie and strange."

If only he really knew. 

I had the intention of telling Mike about my condition. We know almost everything about each other; I know all about him and he knows just enough. And of course, he teases me about my crush on Bella. He calls it pointless, but is glad that I have ambitions.

After signing into the office, I explained to my teachers why I was late, and by the time that was all over, the lunch periods were already progressing. I felt like such a complete abomination. And looking at Bella's horrorstricken face…it was just terrible. 

"I'll tell you when I get to lunch. Let me grab my books first then I'll tell you all about it."

"Oh, were you late because of…oh! _You _were the one who hit Jacob's car? How did you survive that scratch, Ed? That's miraculous, right there. Incredible. Was he pissed?" Mike's eyes were wide with curiosity.

"Beyond. I haven't seen a glare that intense since Rosalie found out that I told a girl her purse wasn't a real…what are they called, Ver-_say_-se? Like anyone was going to care. That girl just wanted to know where she got it. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to lie?"

"It's pronounced _Ver-sah-chee_, Edward. What guy with a brain doesn't know that?"

Under my breath, I muttered, "You mean, what guy with a crush on another guy doesn't know that?"

"I heard that! All I remember about that day was how _fine_ your sister looked. Didn't you think she looked smoking?" Mike sort of has a thing for Rosalie…and a slight hatred towards Emmett.

"The only thing I remember smoking about her were her ears." That was one lesson I could preach to little kids: never reveal a girl's purse is a fake if she tries to pull it off as a genuine one. It's bound to get ugly.

"Alright, look, I'll meet you in the lunchroom. But hurry! I want to hear about how you almost got pummeled!"

"Thanks, Mike. You're a real friend" 

"Oh, suck it up, you big wimp." With that statement, he dug his fist into my scalp. I pretended like it hurt. "You know I don't mean it." He strutted away and to two oncoming girls, he winked and shot an imaginary gun, as if recognizing them. The two girls just looked at each other and busted out laughing. But Mike still walked away with a big grin on his face. I had to give him credit; he was admirable.

I was running a list across my mind about which books I needed to get when a thought interrupted me. Not one of my thoughts, of course, but someone else's. 

_"Oh my God, why did he even show up to school? Doesn't he know what Jacob's got planned for him? If I ever wrecked Jacob's car, I would definitely transfer."_

I froze. Jacob had something planned for me? What could it possibly be? When was it supposed to happen? I shut my eyes hard and tried to hear if anybody passing by knew what he was up to, what he was planning to do to me. The halls were empty. It's not like I couldn't hear the muffled murmuring from up above me in the cafeteria. 

I'm not afraid of Jacob. What I'm scared of is that I might blow our cover if something actually occurs, where I pound his face into his skull with one blow. So there is a façade I have to keep, even with my own thoughts. It's like remaining in character for a play. 

I guess I could wait until Jacob's plan was put into action on me. Or, I could listen intently on people's minds and see what is in store for me. But until then, I'll suffer another day of Mike staring at me and asking why I never consume anything in his presence. And for one more day, I'll tell him that nothing in the lunchroom looked even remotely appetizing, while he swallowed down unappealing burgers.

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It was definitely too hot to keep my hair down. I felt around for the blue hair band I kept around my wrist and quickly bunched my hair up on top of my head. My bangs intertwined with my eyelashes, and a simple stroke of a bobby pin fixed that. I looked into the mirror glued on the door of my locker and fixed whatever was out of place on my head. Checking my makeup, I applied a bit more lipgloss, and locked the locker, twisting the lock before leaving. 

There was undoubtedly some sort of heat wave going on in this town. Forks never got this hot, and it was just the wrong time to wear a sweater. Thank goodness for tank tops. Stripping off my primary layer of clothing, I heard wolf whistles, which were broken records in my ears. Just then, a hand slipped around my waist, and a deep voice was resonating in my left ear.

"Hi, baby. I missed you." Jacob's large hands cupped the cinch of my waist, and with a powerful yet gentle force, he pulled me into his body for a hug. They were always so cuddly, and it was one thing I could never get tired of. But the hug didn't last long.

I sharply exhaled. "Okay, sorry, but no more hug. This heat is killing me and all your extra body heat is just too much." I slowly pulled away from Jacob, and he had a smirk on his face.

He took my face in his hands and lifted them so I was in full eye contact with him. 

"I bet you'd cool down faster if you lost that top." That said, he started trailing kisses around my neck. Thankfully, nobody was in the hallways, especially the teachers. They were strict on the whole public display of affection issue.

I giggled but once again, pulled away. "No, Jake, not right now." He always insisted that we fool around with the high risk of us getting caught. It was a major turn on. But I always longed for a more romantic setting to be intimate. I wanted to make love and be in love, and with Jacob, there was always something missing, like a void.

And no matter how many kisses or hugs or minutes of fooling around we had, it just didn't feel like enough. 

It may sound greedy and selfish, but I want someone who will be mine forever. Someone I click with, a soul lover. If I could ever find someone who can give me just what I need, I would be set for the rest of my life.

"Jacob," I said, "You can go to lunch without me. I have to do a couple things before I make it there anyway, and I don't want you waiting. Besides, it's not like we sit together."

Jacob looked distraught. "Alright, babe. Are you sure?" He was moving his thumbs in a circular motion around my neck, for massage purposes. I didn't realize how tense I was until my muscles gave in to his touch.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go on without me."

Jacob leaned in for a meaningful kiss, but it came out as a quick peck. His lips shifted around as he pulled back, and he turned around and left. His stride was always so intense. It harbored the aura of his athletic abilities. He's the quarterback for the high school's football team. Typical, I know. But what first attracted me to Jacob was that there was a different air about him. Now, I'm left with nothing to breathe. But how could I ever bring myself to tell Jacob that? I could never willingly break his heart.

I picked my pace up as I entered the bathroom. My only intention was to stand by the window and grab some fresh air, but I decided to run my hands under some old water and pat my face and neck with it. I looked at the mirror, at my reddish face dripping with water. All my makeup ran off into the sink. I always wore at least eyeliner, but today, I just felt like having a naked face. I wasn't in the mood to look pretty, especially when I didn't feel pretty at all.

Exiting the bathroom, I heard the sounds of the cafeteria roaring to life every step I neared. I swear, it felt more like entering a zoo than a room in high school. I found my table and sat down, resting my head on my crossed arms.

"Don't you know that it's unsanitary to put your face on a lunchroom table, B? Goodness, what's wrong with you?"

Alice Cullen was probably the only girl I could minutely relate to in the tri-county area. I looked to her for any advice I needed reprimanded to me. We were close friends, but I always felt like she was hiding something from me. Especially since I'm never allowed in her house.

"My face isn't on the table, just my arms."

"Well, think of how many people sneeze onto the table without covering their mouths. I'm telling you, B, it's crazy."

I cocked an eyebrow and looked at Alice, somewhat smiling. "You do realize they clean the tables after every lunch period, right?"

"But you can't trust that! Oh well, if you don't care about your state of health, why should I, right?"

I adored everything this girl wore. I always had a little crush on her wardrobe. Alice and I went shopping all the time, but would come out with different styles of clothing. Today, she was wearing a sleeveless lavender blouse that complimented her eyes. A set of liquefied amber placed in her sockets, Alice's eyes were mesmerizing, and wouldn't be complete without the touch of somewhat bruises around her eyes. It was a soft purplish color, so it didn't look as if she got beat up all of the time.

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked. I wondered where Alice's sister was. Radiant as the day the sun was created, Rosalie was incomparable to any girl I've ever seen. She had luminous golden locks cascading from her head, and her hair could never be wrong. She had legs of a gazelle and stunning eyes the same shade as Alice's. I'm starting to sound like a lesbian, aren't I?

"I don't know. I thought she was with you." Alice said. I pulled out a roast beef sandwich I made for myself this morning. I wasn't too hungry but I picked at it anyway. I stared at Alice. "Aren't you going to eat?"

Alice sat down and shook her head. The mass of cropped black hair moved around on top of her tiny head. "Nope. I ate a big breakfast this morning. I've no appetite whatsoever."

"Okay, then."  
I saw Alice looking to her right, staring harshly at somebody. "Oh, for crying out loud, I told Edward to take the corduroy jacket this morning! Why doesn't he ever listen to me?"

I turned my head to look at Alice's brother, Edward. My heart did jumpstarted slightly as he removed his glasses three tables down. _I knew he looked better without his glasses, _I thought to myself.

I did have a boyfriend. But recently, Edward has been intriguing me. He was so…mysterious. And every time I looked at him, I always caught his piercing butterscotch eyes staring at me. What was so intense about his gaze, I could never understand. But I could always feel the blood rush to my cheeks as he did this, and I smiled to myself.

"B? Bells? Bella!" Alice called to me from across the table. "Were you listening to a word I said?"

"Huh? I'm sorry, Al. What were you saying?"

"What are you staring at?" Alice's gaze traced my line of view and she caught sight of Edward playing with the arms of his glasses, and stuck one in his mouth while he was writing on a piece of paper. Homework, probably. He was always doing homework.

My gaze quickly fixated onto the table once again. I stared at my arms resting on the table. I looked to a scar Jacob accidentally gave me. We were play fighting and he bit me, piercing the skin on my arm. There were two shiny dots that looked like snake bites.

"Me?" I mumbled quietly. "I'm not looking at anything. So, did you and Rosalie come up with a theme for prom?" I intervened her thoughts of me being interested in Edward. I could never be interested in Edward. His hair was just too…tousled. His skin was way too…soft. And his eyes were annoyingly…mesmerizing.

"No, we didn't." Alice said grumpily. "Rosalie and I are trying to do something that hasn't been done before. We've been watching movies galore to see if we can do anything, or think of anything good, but we've come up with zilch. Do you have any ideas?"

I looked into her eyes and softly laughed. "Are you kidding me? Have you seen my decorating skills? They're horrible! You're the one with the passion for design."

"I know, but I can't design anything without an idea to base it on. Will you just do me a favor? Will you come up with some ideas and maybe we can branch off with those. I'll tell Rose to help us out too."

My sandwich was already half eaten. Flakes of the crust were sprinkled around my area of the table. I looked back at Edward, shielding my eyes with pieces of my hair that fell out of the bobby pin.

His stare was placed directly on me. I felt a sensation on my neck and back, like there was an unspoken desire he was trying to send to me. My face was flushing, but blood was rapidly rushing to my cheeks. He wasn't staring me down, but looking right through me, trying to decode what was inside of my head.

I could have looked at him for hours if the loud obnoxious bell didn't ring. My trance was broken and Alice was beckoning me to leave. I sighed slowly. As I passed by Edward's table, he was still sitting down. I decided to get one more look on his face. He wasn't staring at me, but a crooked smile formed along his lips, and for one relevant second, I knew that smile was aimed towards me.


End file.
